The Key to Attraction and Love

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Why a smart partner?

It is linked to having a higher income, a better sense of humor, creativity, social intelligence, motor coordination, and the ability to solve problems.

Why a smart partner?

The word "smart" makes a connection. And a lot of the data I've collected  about a representative sample of Americans shows that we naturally like people who are smart like us.

Mate choice is also affected by other things. Timing is important. If you're not ready, you won't notice the smartest person in the room, even if they're sitting on your lap.

We tend to fall in love with people who are from the same social class, have the same level of good looks, share the same religious and social values, and want to have children.

"We have chemistry" is a common phrase. To figure out what they mean, I gathered information on any brain system that has been linked to any personality trait.

But the Director and the Negotiator, who are the other two biological types, want what they don't have: each other. 

For romance, opposites attract.


Directors usually have a lot of testosterone and are smart, direct, decisive, hard-headed, and good at things like math, engineering, mechanics, computers, and/or music.

For romance, opposites attract.

They like Negotiators, a high-estrogen kind. These individuals are creative, insightful, compassionate, and adept with words.

For romance, opposites attract.

Most people don't fit neatly into one style of thought.

Each of us is a complicated mix of all these brain systems and the ways we think and act that go with them. But we do have different personalities, which are partly based on how we were made.

Still, you can walk into a room full of people who are like you and not fall in love with every single one of them. This is where being smart comes in.

You will still look for people with the same level of intelligence as you among those people.