start exploring
Mars square Neptune enables you to accept some aspect of your personality that you have previously repressed, namely, that you are not one to settle down.
This is all you have ever done, and it has never worked. Although you dislike being alone, you also dislike being forced to conform, and the idea of settling down may tie you into a position.
You would be a free spirit if you had your way, and you do, in fact, constantly have your way. The subsequent step is ownership.
It's not as if you haven't attempted to play the game by the rules; in fact, that's how you know you're not the kind of person who wants to settle down.
You'll reflect on what worked and what didn't in your life, and if you're honest with yourself, you'll realize that what went wrong was you attempting to accomplish.
All you need to know is that there is a mental escape hatch, and you won't find it in the phrase "settling down." It is your death, and you will not be restrained.
Due to your inability to say no to others, you have put yourself into a love scenario that has began to grate on your nerves.
You agreed to settle down, but now all you want to do is run away. You've done this more than once; you've lied to yourself about who you really are and gotten yourself into situations.
You find romance to be a lovely thing, but the thought of settling down kills it for you. All you want is to not have to be someone you're not, and you are NOT a settler.